


i am far away from where i used to be, but i got all my attention fixed on you (and you're right where you said you'd be)

by AngelicSigils



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Character Death, Grief/Mourning, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-06
Updated: 2020-01-06
Packaged: 2021-02-27 05:41:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,636
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22141951
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AngelicSigils/pseuds/AngelicSigils
Summary: Cody reached into the cradle with one hand, letting Luke grab onto his fingers. Cody could see even now that he would grow to be the spitting image of his father, all blond hair and blue eyes.
Relationships: CC-2224 | Cody/Obi-Wan Kenobi
Comments: 9
Kudos: 206





	i am far away from where i used to be, but i got all my attention fixed on you (and you're right where you said you'd be)

**Author's Note:**

> cody survives order 66 and the direct aftermath as himself, leaving him and obi-wan to figure out what to do now.

"Hello, young one," Cody said. The infant in the cradle stared up at him, then reached out with a chubby hand, trying to grasp at him. Hesitantly, Cody reached into the cradle with one hand, letting Luke grab onto his fingers. Cody could see even now that he would grow to be the spitting image of his father, all blond hair and blue eyes. He shied away from that thought quickly, though. He didn't want to spend much time thinking about the past.

"You make a fine child-minder." Obi-wan didn't make a sound as he approached, and it was only years of working and living with the man that stopped Cody from jumping out of his skin at the sudden, quiet remark. He stood close behind Cody’s shoulder; he could see him out of the corner of his eye, felt the warmth of his body on his back.

“I wouldn't say that, s-" Cody cut himself off. The GAR didn’t exist anymore. There wasn’t any rank between them, now, Cody knew. But of course, old habits die hard. It was gonna take some getting used to. "Just spent a lot of time with the cadets, before. I don’t know how much of that applies here, though."

"Nonsense, you’re doing fine. Much better than I am, in any case," Obi-wan said. Cody privately disagreed, but he could tell from watching that Obi-wan felt conflicted about handling Luke. Sometimes, he was loathe to have him out of his sight for very long, finding it impossible to sit in the cockpit of the ship, or anywhere away from the child when he wasn't asleep. _sometimes not even then_ , Cody thought, remembering watching Obi-wan fall into a restless sleep, Luke dozing on his chest. But other times, he seemed apprehensive to be near him, for reasons Cody could not fathom.

Cody turned slightly to look at Obi-wan, who was looking into the cradle as well. He looked a mess, rumpled and unkempt in the way people sometimes got when grieving. When Obi-wan met his gaze after a moment, Cody gave him a concerned expression. _Are you doing alright?_ he wanted to ask. Obi-wan shook his head and waved him off without answering. Cody didn't protest. He didn't really need to ask in the first place. Obi-wan was clearly not alright. 

When Obi-wan had first found Cody, after Utapau, on Coruscant this time, he'd tried to attack him again, still under the influence of the Chanc- the _Emperor’s_ chip. It was pure luck, or possibly the use of Jedi mind tricks, that he'd managed to catch Cody alone. One swift crack to the side of the head had, in one fell swoop, knocked Cody unconscious and broken the chip in half, rendering it useless. He awoke later to see Obi-wan instead of _traitor_ , smelling of ash and smoke with a haunted look on his face. Also, two infants, a boy and a girl, and a dead Senator Amidala. Obi-wan explained that the children belonged to General Skywalker and Senator Amidala and that they were headed to Naboo with the Senator’s body. Corpse. Cody hadn’t met Senator Amidala that many times, but when he had she’d always been so full of life. Seeing her pale and lifeless felt wrong in more ways than he could explain. They couldn't attend her funeral, for obvious reasons. Cody didn't know what had happened to Skywalker, but when he'd tried to ask Obi-wan, he’d barely got a word out before breaking down in shivery, dry, wracking sobs; all that Jedi emotional control lightyears out of his grasp now. Cody put him to bed silently and didn't ask again. He could only assume that Skywalker was dead.

(Cody understood that Obi-wan had only gone back to Coruscant to see Master Yoda. He understood that Obi-wan had not specifically gone back for him, had not even known he was there. Sometimes, Obi-wan looked at Cody like he was still afraid. He knew that they would have to talk about things eventually. But in the quiet of the simulated night onboard their tiny ship, Obi-wan had whispered, when he thought Cody couldn’t hear, _“I’m glad it was you.”_ )

Abandoning that line of thought for now, he put an arm around Obi-wan's waist, pulling him closer while also allowing Obi-wan to move closer to the crib. This...thing, between them, it was extremely new. But both of them held onto it, to each other, like a lifeline. It sometimes felt like the only thing keeping them sane, in this new, horrifying order of things. It felt like they were the only ones they had left, even though Cody knew that wasn't true. He knew Rex had made it out. Couldn't explain how, he just had a feeling. It wasn't enough, to know that one brother had made it out among millions. But it was something.

Obi-wan reached down into the crib, picked Luke up, and held him close, looking into those familiar blue eyes as tiny hands reached up to try to grab his beard. Cody pulled Obi-wan closer, pushed his nose against his hair for a moment and kissed the side of his head, next to his ear, before letting go and moving away. 

"I’m going to make sure everything’s fine up front," Cody said. Obi-wan nodded absently, his eyes bright with tears as he stared at Luke. Cody went to the cockpit to confirm with the droid there that they were still on course for Tatooine, and would arrive in approximately sixty-three minutes. He doubted anyone would stop them on their way; no one went to Tatooine, it was a backwater ( _ha-ha, a funny expression to describe a desert planet,_ Cody thought) planet with nothing to recommend it but sand. They were going to ask Skywalker's only known relatives, a brother Owen and his wife Beru, to raise the boy as their own child.

They'd already brought the sister, Leia, to live with Senator Organa and his wife on Alderaan. Cody'd been sad to see her go. An exceptionally serious infant, she'd hardly fussed the whole way to Alderaan, and had looked rather thoughtful and calm when Senator Organa’s wife took her from Obi-wan’s arms. Obi-wan looked pained as he handed her over, but he’d attempted to hide his expression from Organa. Cody still noticed, though.

Cody knew he would be sad when they had to give Luke up, too. He worried about Obi-wan, and the little boy who Cody knew already reminded Obi-wan of another little boy he'd once known. Cody had wondered, worried, that the reason they weren't holding onto the twins had something to do with him. So he told Obi-wan that he wouldn't mind it if they took care of Luke themselves. "It'd be nice," he'd said, "like having cadets around again." Obi-wan had said nothing. After a moment, Cody had continued, "the chip's deactivated, if that's...what you're worried about. You took care of it yourself." 

For that, he'd received a long, horrified stare, and then Obi-wan had looked away and said, quietly. "It isn’t you who I’m worried about." He took a deep breath, still refusing to meet Cody's eyes. He said, "I cannot let myself ruin this one, too." and Cody's heart promptly broke. He drew Obi-wan into his arms without another word, resting his chin on the top of Obi-wan's head. Obi-wan froze, and then wrapped his own arms around Cody, and when Cody felt the base of his neck wet with tears, he'd said nothing.

Cody made his way back to the main living area of the ship. Obi-wan had put Luke back in the cradle but still stood over it, watching him. "We'll hit atmo over Tatooine in about an hour," Cody whispered, in case Luke was sleeping again. Obi-wan nodded, and Cody turned around to start trying to tidy things up a little and pack up the meager baby supplies Obi-wan had managed to obtain from Senator Amidala's ship, before he'd had to leave. Obi-wan came up behind him again and put his arms around his waist, simply holding him. Cody could feel Obi-wan's forehead resting against his upper back. for a moment neither of them spoke.

"I don't want to leave him," Obi-wan said, finally. His voice was hoarse. He sounded tired.

"We don't have to. I really don't mind taking him in." Cody replied.

"No. We can't, Cody," Obi-wan said. "I am a wanted criminal, and you're a clone. It would be too dangerous. For all of us."

"I know," Cody said with a sigh, turning to face the other man. "I just wish..." 

Obi-wan reached up and traced the scar on his temple gently with his thumb."I know. I do, too."

Cody leaned down to kiss him, just a bare brush of their mouths at first, and then firmer, but still chaste. They broke apart, and then Cody stepped away. "We have to pack the rest of Luke's things," he said. Obi-wan nodded, reaching out to touch Cody's cheek one last time, before turning around to pick up some of the bottles of baby formula that stood crowded together on a low table near the cradle. 

"We should start packing our things, too," said Obi-wan, not that they really had any things to pack. Cody looked at him questioningly. "Raising him ourselves would be too dangerous, but I cannot in good conscience leave him alone. I thought that we might stay on Tatooine. Not all the time, not if we don’t want to, but...”  
“I understand, Obi-wan,” Cody said, filling in the silence that grew when Obi-wan trailed off, “We won’t leave him alone.” Obi-wan’s tired little smile lit up his face in a way Cody hadn’t seen in days, and while it couldn’t fix anything that had happened, Cody thought it helped.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading! title is from adair by the mountain goats, aka the only band i listen to.


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